Ellie

Ellie was a mama’s girl. From her early arrival two days before Christmas when she was her mother’s best Christmas present, through the colicky days of infancy when she only wanted her mother, to their matching baldness and beanies, to her final willed gift of a charm bracelet, Ellie’s loved to be with her mama.

A girly-girl, Ellie loved her makeup, getting up early before school to do her makeup and hair. She faithfully watched NCIS and Gray’s Anatomy with her grandmother. Christmas and sloths were some of her favorite things, and her two sisters were some of her favorite people.

Although her autism sometimes made it hard to make friends with peers other than her sisters, adults adored Ellie who was mature beyond her years. Ellie made friends with all the nurses who liked to sit and talk with her. The teachers and staff at the school loved Ellie and were inspired by her determination and perseverance. She enjoyed spending time talking with them, gossiping with and encouraging them. The week before she died, the school organized a procession of teachers, staff, and students who drove by her house delivering gifts, letting her know how much she was valued.

Ellie lived her fourteen years to the fullest. When she got sick, the community who loved her rallied to give her experiences and joy. Thinking of what would make her sister happy, Ellie chose to swim with the dolphins in Hawaii for her Make a Wish adventure. With the help of her uncle, Ellie rode in a hot air balloon and made her own perfume, spent the night at the Adolphus in Dallas and enjoyed a special dinner out complete with limousine transportation. When a peer shared her despair and suicidal thoughts, Ellie encouraged her to keep going telling her, “I don’t have a choice, but you do.” For Ellie’s last birthday party, her friend’s grateful mother gifted Ellie and her family a sloth experience. For the sloth obsessed teenager, holding a sloth was a life-changing moment.

As Ellie got closer to the end, one important thing she still wanted was a special experience with her mother. She had an empty charm bracelet that she wanted to fill. With the help of Project 4031, she was able to go to James Avery and purchase charms for the bracelet, including a sloth (of course!), a puzzle piece to represent her autism, a birthstone bead with an “E” for Ellie and Emily, a dolphin, angel wings, and others. Ellie left this bracelet to her mother, encouraging her to remember Ellie and their special times together when she looked at it. In addition to the bracelet, Emily feels close to Ellie when she sees cardinals in the yard give or rainbows as she remembers a line from one of Ellie’s favorite songs If I Die Young: “Lord, make me a rainbow, I’ll shine down on my mother/She’ll know I’m safe with you when she stands under my colors.”

That was Ellie… always thinking of others. At her celebration of life, which was hosted by her school, person after person rose to tell stories of Ellie’s impact and the way she made them better people, better parents, better teachers. She was love, and she was loved. Emily remembers Ellie, her baby and her angel: “All of us—we were her purpose.”